Life continues for us. We started a project working on the back room, putting in stairs in there, and setting it up to be my office/guest space.It's times like this that I really wish the downstairs roommate's iguana, Herb, would go away so we can have his room back, but that won't happen for a good long while. Either way, we had to temporarily call a halt to the back room project, because funds are tight, what with us going to Italy!!!

That's right, off to Italy to see Randy's parents. I knew I would go back again someday, this time spending more time in Northern Italy, up around the Veneto. We'll possibly be going to Germany as well, by way of Switzerland, to see more family. I'll be sure to report more, as it comes about.

While we're not working on the back room, we've been working on fixing up the rest of the house. We got rid of an old couch in the bedroom, so we've got a lot more room now, and Randy cleaned out a lot of the closet in there. I've started moving the kitchen around. You wouldn't believe how much more comfortable I am now - he used to keep the silverware in the cupboard. Every time I reached for a fork, I almost cut myself on a steak knife. Not cool. Anyways, there has been much housecleaning happening.

I'm still working on that research paper I'm going to submit to a journal. I spoke to my prof about it, and he suggests I send it to a real, professional journal, as opposed to the student journal I was going to send it to. I've already met with him once, and hope to meet with him again soon. I'm at the point of quibbling over citation style, so I'm just about done.

This weekend I am going to MBLGTACC, the Midwest Bi, Lesbian, Gay, Trans, and Ally College Conference. Next year, we're hosting it, and I hope to lead a workshop, so this will be a good opportunity to observe and network. Wish me luck!

One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding - Rebecca Mead - This may be the best book I've read all year. It's all about the commercialism of the wedding industry, and how it gives birth to the bridezilla culture. While keeping half an eye on the role and nature of weddings in American history, she analyzes the causes of the consumerist wedding fetish, and determines that the lack of authority is the primary cause. We live with a strong sense of freedom, without strong cultural authority figures such as the Church to tell us how to conduct ourselves. Without being overly critical of freedom, she describes how brides find them themselves looking around, looking for anyone who will tell them what to do, someone to tell them what "tradition" is, or what the "proper" thing to do is.  And the first authority to step up to the bat is the wedding industry. Basically, it seemed like she was saying that we're looking for a ritual - ritual is how we celebrate our life - but we don't really have the basis or need that "traditional" ritual is based on. And I put "traditional" in quotes on purpose. You'd be amazed at how many traditions are maybe only a hundred years old. Like the diamond ring. Nobody had diamond rings until Eurpeans started opening up diamond mines in Africa and exploiting local labor in the mid 19th century, and even then, it didn't catch on th 20th century. Highly recommended.

Why You Should Give a Damn About Gay Marriage - Davina Kotulski - A powerful read. It's not that old, but the field has moved so quickly that some of it's starting to get dated - I just read the other day that California has eliminated inheritance tax for domestic partners - but in so many more ways this book is spot on, describing how the lack of civil marriage for gay people hurts families and Americans. It's especially important now that those molerats in Indianapolis passed the SJR-7 marriage amendement through the Senate again. And you know what really pisses e off about that? They didn't even do it honestly - they attached it to HJR-1. That's right, the bill about property tax. What does gays getting married have to do with your property tax, you might ask? Nothing! Nada. Zip. They just wanted to make sure it passed, because they weren't sure it would otherwise. This should be another post.

Broken Wings - L.J. Baker - This is one of the books I've always wanted to read! It's a fantasy novel about all the brownies, nymphs, dryads, etc in this one country. But Rye is a fairy, a persecuted minority from the theocratic Fairyland to the north. Rye ran away because she's lesbian, and now she's living as an illegal immigrant, and raising her little sister. The story of her immigrant struggles, alongside the romance that develops between her and Flora, a fabulously famous dryad artist, is a remarkable story. I read the last 50 pages in one rush, and cried through the whole last half of the book. I cannot recommend this book highly enough. And now I find that the author has written other things! Medieval fantasy lesbian romance! Now if someone could just convince her to write about vikings...

The Journey Out: A Guide for and About Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Teens - Rachel Pollack - Your standard young adult coming out book. It's from the office library, and I'm always recommending it to people, so I figured I should actually read it at some point. A very quick read, good solid introduction.

The Gilda Stories - Jewelle Gomez -Once upon a time, I read a novel that purported to be Anne Rice, but with lesbian vampires. It wasn't even close. This book is much closer. It's about an African slave who becomes a vampire in the 1850s, and spends the next 200 years wandering around the US, in search of a family. The writing is beautiful and lyrical, although not as erotic as I was hoping for. Still, the characters are engaging. Highly recommended.

Nice Girls Don't - Laurence Jaugey-Paget - Photography. Randy seemed surprised to see photographs of naked women that weren't touched up. Other than that, I don't have a lot to say about the art of photography.

Desert of the Heart - Jane Rule - Jane Rule is one of those classic lesbian authors, who reads a bit weird in the early 21st century. The basis of the movie Desert Hearts. A beautifully rendered love story, that deserved to be read at a much more leisurely pace than I gave it. In many ways typical of the time period in which it was written, especially in Evelyn's constant equivocating over the moral nature of their relationship, it is nonetheless an enjoyable read.

Fool For Love - Lisa Lees - The main characters sound less like teenagers, and more like a PSA on intersex people. I wouldn't go so far as to say that the voice is preachy, but the overall tone is stilted. It meets a need, but I suspect it will be replaced when better fiction is written.

Tired of those same old 55 questions about me surveys? Well here are 55 I guarantee you've never answered.

1. Is your second toe longer than your first?
Wait, gotta kick my shoe off... looks about the same length, to me.

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?
The kind that write. Right now, I'm favoring a fountain pen, but that's because it's the one in my purse

3. Look at your planner for Sept 14, what are you doing?
Next Sept 14th is a Sunday, so I will probably be sleeping in late.

4. What color are your toenails usually?
I used to keep them bright green.

5. What was the last thing you highlighted?
A letter of intent, for the counseling intern in the office.

6. What color are your bedroom curtains?
Neon green.


Do not ask about question 53.

Okay, so back in 2003-2005, I frequently went around point out to people that there are 1,138 federal rights and responsibilities afforded to heterosexual civil marriages, that were denied to gay couples, and not included in "civil unions" (because "civil unions" aren't federal, and are to marriage what pyrite is to gold). When I mentioned it to my Dad, he demanded to know, very dubiously, what these rights were. As though I could recite all 1,138 off the top pf my head.

Many years after the fact, I have found it - a report compiled by the U.S. Government Accountability Office in 1997, then updated in 2003. Did you know the government puts all its public documents online?  Yeah, I knew it too, but I never thought I'd actually find it. Basically, the purpose of the report was to enumerate all the federals laws to which martial status applied, so they could state that DOMA applied to it. The report is also completely illegible without a degree in law, but I you'll have that with anything the government puts together.

To sum up in brief, in 1997 (right after the Defense of Marriage Act was passed), there were 1,049 federal statutory provisions contingent upon marital status. In 2003, Congress asked them to update the report, and they found that 120 statutory provisions had been added, and 31 repealed. Add that up, and you get 1,138 ways the U.S. Government is screwing over committed gay people.

 You may access the report, in its whole, here: http://www.gao.gov/docdblite/details.php?rptno=GAO-04-353R%20

1. Get another part time job, so I can start paying back loans.

2. Floss.

3. Start donating blood again.

I don't know if I ever posted my New Year's resolutions last year. I can't find them, so I guess not. I remember writing them down in my print journal, even though I can't find them in there either. One of them was to graduate. Mission accomplished!

I'm still reading stuff. Here's what I've been up to lately:

The Tragedy of Today's Gays by Larry Kramer - The transcript of a speech Kramer gave in 2004. Powerful and moving, and I can see why so many people hate Kramer. You just can't be that vocal without making a fair number of enemies. For those who don't know, Kramer is the author of Faggots and The Normal Heart, and one of the founders of ACT UP (if you don't know what ACT UP is, go back and re-watch "Rent.") Basically, the minute AIDS hit the scene, Kramer was going around telling gay guys to cool it (but not actually stop having sex.) People saw him as undermining the sexual revolution, or self-hating, or some such. But Kramer makes a statement over and over again in this speech, the kind of thing I want taped up next to my bed, so I'm going to type the whole thing out:
    "I love being gay. I love gay people. I think we're better than other people.I really do. I think we're smarter and more talented and more         aware. I do, I do, I totally do. And I think we're more tuned into what's happening, tuned into the moment, tuned into our emotions, and             other peoples' emotions, and we're better friends. I really do think all these things." - Larry Kramer
   
    But Kramer does something I've never seen anyone else ever do. He remembers the early days of AIDS, right from the get go, from when there was only 41 cases if HIV/AIDS. And Kramer does not treat AIDS as this horrible thing that just happened, an unstoppable force, and there's nothing anyone could have done to stop it. Quite the contrary, he exposes the actions of three men, men who let the plague grow from 41 cases to over 70 million, because they didn't want anyone to thing they were gay. I learned more about the history of the AIDS plague after one hour with this book, than in the whole of my public education experience. I highly recommend this book.


Ok, now onto books of a lighter note:

The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe by Nicole Kristal and Mike Szymanski - Snarky, light, quick read. This is the book that won the first Lambda Literary Award for Bisexuality, and I can see why. While most books about bisexuality are either incredibly dry and academic, or else incredibly political (which don't get me wrong, I like), this book is funny, occasionally playing to stereotypes, but in a very tongue-in-check kind of way. A must read for any bisexual, bi, queer, fluid, hetero-flexible, pansexual, omnisexual, or "I-don't-like-to-lable-myself" folk out there.

Bi America: myths, truths, and struggles of an invisible community by William E. Burleson - Fascinating and boring, all at once. Burleson is in pursuit of the bisexual community, but ultimately ends on the depressing note that there isn't much of a "community," per se. Nonetheless a good book, although the first three chapters are a bit dull, focusing on defining bisexuality, re-defining it, discussing how the definitions suck, but why we use them anyways, and then finally, defining it *again.* Not a light read. But later chapters picked it up.  Took for bloody ever to slog through, though.

Tales of the Slayer, v.1 - A nice collection of short stories about previous slayers. I think my favorite was Doranna Durgin's "Mornglom Dreaming." Besides the fact that it takes place in my home state of Kentucky, it's the only story in the book that isn't about how the slayer fell. Instead, it's a story about what the slayer has to sacrifice for her position. Yvonne Navarro contributes two stories, both with vivid mood. Her "Die Blutgrafin" is especially haunting, not to mention icky. Nancy Holder's "Unholy Madness" does an excellent job of capturing the late 18th century French elite disdain for the commoners in a way that doesn't sound forced - perhaps because the language sounds so close to the kinds of things people who criticize the poor say today.

Whitewater Rendezvous by Kim Baldwin - So, I was at the library with my friend Sarah, and I saw this book from a distance, said "look, it's a lesbian romance!" picked it up, and I was 100% correct. I'm telling you, I can identify them from the spine typeface alone. The font is never the same, the color and background is never the same, and yet, there's something about it that's just identifiable. And no, there's no logo on the spine either. Anyways, I read a chapter, and said to myself, "The fabulous TV exec is going to have a kayak accident, nearly drown in the whitewater, be saved by the lusty tour guide, and they'll fall madly in love." In fact, she had her accident, hit her head, nearly drowned, and they fell in love. I'm a Girl Scout, I've been on water. I should have realized she'd hit her head. I'm so ashamed I missed that part. Head-shakey.

I've been actively avoiding livejournal for the last year or so. I just got disillusioned with the format. But I've graduated now, and I want to get back into the habit of writing, especially writing for an audience. So, in a paragraph, here's what I've been up to:

I've graduated with a Masters degree in Library Science, and now I'm working at the GLBT Student Support Services Library on campus. I love my job, and since I've decided to call Bloomington home, I'm probably going to keep it as long as possible, which is probably going to be a while. Right now, Randy is helping his downstairs roommate build a wall, so he can keep the eggs from his chicken and quail business separate from the rest of the house. The health inspector gave him the thumbs up, and local restaurants seems interested - go Zach! After the wall's built, he's going to help us make the attic space into an actual room, and built stairs up to it, and then we'll move Randy's Dad's stuff up there while he's out of country. Then, we're going to turn the back room into an office for me, and I'll be moving in in June. Much excitement! Then, it the military doesn't send Randy's Mom back before then, we'll go visit them in Italy for a while in March.

Okay, on to other things. I've taken advantage of the no school, no homework, and for two weeks, no work, to read as much as I possibly can. I finally got hip on Facebook,  and added the bookshelf application, so  you can see what I've been readng there, but in more detail...

Ellie's Bookbag

The Art of Kissing by William Cane - This was such a cute book! I can't say I read it in depth, but it was fun to go through with my sweetie while driving, and check off all the kisses we had done - who knew we had such variety in our kissing! I've even started making up my own. Like, the Stoplight Kiss: when you stop at a red light in traffic, and lean over to kiss while both keep one eye open to watch the light. All cuteness aside, the traditional gender roles were tedious and mind-boggling dull. Don't tell me what the guy does and what the girl does, and don't act like "gender swapping" is some kind of special technique. Yeah, it's cool to know that more women enjoy having their neck kissed then men, but there's a difference between that and indoctrinating us. Still, a fun, light-hearted read.

Gothm Central v.2: Half a Life by Greg Rucka - I love me some Rucka. I always found the concept for Gotham Central fascinating - what life is like for everyone else, who isn't a weirdo or a member of the Batfamily - but this is the first time I gave it a try. The artwork is initially inconsistent, because the first chapter pulls from earlier, during No Man's Land, but the inclusion of that issue gives you background and pulls the whole story together. Plus, this is the story where Montoya comes out, so I was pretty much destined to love it anyways.

Full Frontal Feminism by Jessica Valenti - This book kicks ass! Ever wondered why all the feminists in you life , and have nothing in common with the stereotype of the dowdy curmudgeon? You should give this book a try. It's all about how feminism will improve your life. My favorite chapter is the one on why feminists do it better - it's so true. And even better, this book is inclusive of all sorts of people - women of color, disabled women, queer women, even men - because while we all have different problems, they're all essentially feminist issues. I've read a number of reviews that were put off by her potty mouth, but honestly, that has more to do with her conversational voice, and her appeal to a younger generation. I really can't suggest this book highly enough. You can read more of Jessica Valenti (and other feminists) at her blog, Feministing.

The Indelible Bechdel by Alison Bechdel - An excellent edition for all Dykes to Watch Out For collections, although probably not as interesting to people who never read her and have no idea who she is. It presents something of Bechdel's professional memoir, the story of how her artwork and storytelling skills developed over time. With lots of cartoons! I read this after I read her personal memoir, Fun Home, which won all those awards and received a lot of hoopla last year. I think it makes a good companion. Both reveal her development as an artist and a person, but in different ways. She really reveals how cartooning is a much more nuanced and careful art than tradition would have us believe. I'm very enthusiastic about this book.

If Grace is True: Why God Will Save Every Person by Philip Gulley and James Mulholland - I read this book because one of the authors came to Jenny's church a while back to speak, and I saw him, and Jenny lent me the book, so I thought, why not? This is a beautiful book about the love of God, and why God will save everyone. Everyone. Even the people you don't like. I thought it was great to read this from a Christian perspective, because I've long labored under the impression (an impression a lot of Christians have, too) that Christianity is nothing more than an elaborate revenge fantasy. Something on the order of, "Oh yeah... Well, well... You'll see!" Gulley and Mulholland make an excellent case for why "justice" is human, not divine. This book gets some pretty crummy reviews on Amazon, as you can imagine, and a lot of those reviews try to make the argument that Gulley and Mulholland aren't Biblically accurate. But that isn't true; the authors stand firm in their belief that the word of Jesus trumps everything else in the Bible, and so much of their argument stems directly from that. They also did an excellent job countering arguments that without eternal torture, why would anyone bother to behave? Easy to read and comprehend, but theologically challenging. As a side note, as a  non-Christian, I frequently feel insulted, belittled, or patronized by the majority of Christian writing, even the universalist stuff. "Yes, you'll be saved, but we're still right and you're still wrong, and someday you'll accept Jesus and know that." But I never once got that vibe off this book. The authors are not out to underhandedly dis you.

Happy Solstice, everyone! Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy Hanukkah!

For our 4 month anniversary, we picked Randy's mother up from the airport and spent the weekend with her. She's been posted in Italy, doing her medical thing, but she had training back in the US, and took her leave while here. This is the earliest I've been able to meet her, and she was a very pleasant woman.  We went out to eat a couple of times, saw Bourne Ultimatum, ehich turned out to be easy enough to follow, even though Ive never seen the first two, and met up with other friends and family in the area.

Then last weekend, I took Randy down to meet my folks. Originally, Sarah, Di, and the two of us, were going to go down in order to see Mammoth Caves, and crash at the folks house, but Di got sick, so it was just the two of us. I showed him around my home county, he and Dad talked about space flight and computers, and I went through all my stored books with Mom.

The job at the GLBT library is going well. We are almost done implementing the new LLACE classification system. RIght now, I'm trying to throw together a book display on coming out for the new Freshman, as well as getting the rearrangement of the books done. The place doesn't currently meet my standards, so I really hope nobody comes in on Monday. *Fingers crossed* This whole project would have been so much easier if the office didn't close at 5, or at least if I didn't have to be out of there after 5. But I think I can get it into working order in time.

On a related note, I have decided that I'm going to use the new tags they've added. Oh, come on, who can turn down the chance to create her own system of Subject Headings? LC, eat your heart out. I might go back and update the rest of my entries, but then again, I might not.

Link: The Sexuality Spectrum Test written by tall_man_54 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

The "slight straight" part apears to come from who I have actually slept with, rather than how I actually define myself. Lame.